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Parenthood - is it easy to learn and live by? Where's a good tried-and-true parenting tip when you need one?
Humor me and picture this scenario:
With the excited screams and deafening applause of fans on the bleachers of life nearby, participating teams of moms and dads engage in a huddle.
The team leader of each group, also a parent, bark commands to his members: trying to speak above the noise, making each word as crystal clear as the beads of perspiration running down his cheeks. The other parents in the group listen intently to the guidelines of parenthood in the game of life.
Although most of them look frazzled and bewildered, the chiseled features of the women and the burly appearance of the faces of the men all held a determined look. It was as if everyone knew that this game of life is for their children, and they are willing to learn the ropes to make life easier for them as well as for their kids.
"Alright, team. It's now or never. Our kids are growing up. We've got to keep things on an even keel as much as possible," one of the team leaders say in a low but clear baritone.
"You, mom, learn to control your temper by following this strategy," he continues. "You, dad, go to the right and try to keep the other team from scoring by making time for your kid and applying this parenting tip. You, mom, in the orange blouse, keep the goal safe."
And so on and so forth until everyone in the team get their instructions.
I wish it was as easy as that.
But just as there are different seasons, religions, beliefs, customs, races, practices, currencies, homes, furniture, books, schools, shows, movies, animals, careers, industries, stores, cuisine, buildings, streets, preferences, families, there is no one-size-fits-all rule to follow when it comes to parenting.
I learned that the hard way.
Being the youngest of a brood of seven, half of my life had been a cornucopia of tips and impromptu, unsolicited guidelines from well-meaning friends and family.
Now that I have a daughter, the tips still come my way.
One married friend suggested practicing authority especially when teens become infuriatingly disrespectful. Being an authoritarian equals power.
Piece of cake!
Anyway, I adopted that at times when my daughter was younger. It seemed to work wonders then.
It merely took one dagger look and she knew that what she did was wrong. If she doesn't concede, she would have to endure a boiling tempest of pointed anecdotes and debilitating statements.
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Another friend said becoming your child's best friend at all times would help strengthen ties, and let your child trust, respect, and follow you. Nice. Being a friend would be easy. I've got a handful of friends so extending the friendship ties to my daughter wouldn't be so hard.
But does being a friend meant sharing everything - from secrets, boy tips, and to other things that I simply cannot part with? Besides, this tactic seems to adopt a lax attitude and makes you "too soft" to deal with other motherly things. This has no use at all!
A relative points out another tip: Be a role model. You do it first, they follow. Simple. But that couldn't be used in terms of housework or homework because, it seems, you end up doing and finishing up the task. I'm thinking that if one would continue this for an extended period of time, one may not realize that it's only teaching kids to be a softie and allowing them to depend on you - forever.
So what tip would be best?
In life and in writing, I've discovered that a little bit of this and a little bit of that helps create a more balanced perspective, a more fulfilling story.
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2 comments:
You have nice observations and ideas on how to cope up with teens behavior, Though in my case, I apply the Liberal way of communications.
Thanks for sharing your views on this, papaleng. Ah, yes, as parents, we all have our own ways of dealing with these things. And that makes the journey of being parents more exciting. :)
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